


Listen, The Snow Is Falling

by vampirevessel



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Autism, Autistic Zhong Chen Le, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Tension, Awkwardness, Baking, Best Friends, Children, Christianity, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Cooking, Deaf Character, Deaf Park Jisung (NCT), Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, First Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Huang Ren Jun & Zhong Chen Le Are Best Friends, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecure Lee Taeyong, Korean Sign Language, Lee Taeyong is Whipped, Lee Taeyong is a sweetheart, M/M, Male Friendship, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, Mentioned Kim Dahyun, Mentioned Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul, Mentioned Park Jisung (NCT), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nail Polish, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent-Child Relationship, Park Jisung & Zhong Chen Le Are Best Friends, Prayer, Protective Lee Taeyong, Religion, Religious Content, Shy Lee Taeyong, Sign Language, Soft Lee Taeyong, Soft Park Jisung (NCT), Step-parents, Tags May Change, Winter, Zhong Chen Le-centric, just a little bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirevessel/pseuds/vampirevessel
Summary: Chenle is your local neurodivergent teenage boy trying to live his life,Haechan is his little brother who has way too much fun on bothering him,And Doyoung and Taeyong are trying their best in parenting the two.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Zhong Chen Le, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Zhong Chen Le, Lee Taeyong & Zhong Chen Le, Park Jisung & Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 24
Kudos: 105





	1. Christmas Morning

**Author's Note:**

> A quick note: Chenle is older than Hyuck, and Taeyong and DY have a bit of an age difference going on, but nothing dramatic.
> 
> (Also thx to hyung for putting up with my inability to format texts. Love you <3)

“This is so cool! Thanks dad, thanks Yongie!” Haechan dropped his present, the Lord of the Rings trilogy on Blu-Ray, and jumped on the couch to hug the two men sitting there.  
It was Taeyong’s first ever Christmas with kids that weren’t his siblings or cousins and he was nervous, even though Doyoung had assured him they would love the presents he got them. He returned Haechan’s warm hug and Doyoung gave his son a kiss on his head.

Taeyong had learned in the very beginning that Haechan and Chenle were pretty different. While Haechan was usually all warm and bubbly, Chenle preferred to be alone, sometimes not talking to anybody for hours or even days.  
While Haechan excitedly started ripping off the paper of his second gift, Chenle was still focused on opening his first one; carefully ripping off each piece of tape on its own without damaging the paper.

Chenle’s first present was a 2,000-page version of the original Oxford Dictionary. When he had bought it, Taeyong considered opening it even though he would embarrass himself by his lack of knowledge but Doyoung had informed him early enough that Chenle would feel much more comfortable if it stayed shrink wrapped.

Haechan got a Lucio Funko Pop figure and opened it right away, ignoring Chenle side-eyeing him from his place.  
They often got into an argument on whether the right way to collect Funko Pop figures was to play with them, as far as you could play with immobile items, or to keep them in their original box until someday their worth would enhance. Not that either of them was thinking about selling them. While Chenle was busy skipping through the pages of his dictionary, Haechan continued unwrapping a new soccer jersey and an old ("vintage") iPod, wondering how many songs he could fit on the 16GB storage.

“He likes it, believe me”, Doyoung said quietly when he noticed the worry in Taeyong’s eyes due to Chenle’s lack of emotional reaction.  
“He doesn’t even use the things he doesn’t like.” Taeyong gave his boyfriend a soft smile and leaned his head against his shoulder.

Some time later Haechan was beating his dad in Mario Kart while Taeyong watched Chenle calmly unwrap his presents. After the dictionary came a new pair of headphones and a ukulele which Chenle had both tested for a few minutes each.  
The last one was a book on Korean sign language from Taeyong. Chenle opened it and skipped through the pages like he was looking for a specific page, then he turned to Taeyong, lifted his left hand with the palm down and softly hit the back of his hand with the side of his right hand before showing Taeyong the page he was looking at.  
“You’re welcome”, Taeyong said with a genuine smile on his face, even though he had secretly wished for a hug.  
“Do you want to go outside?” Chenle hesitated for a moment, then nodded and put the last book on his pile before taking the presents into his room.

Taeyong informed his busy boyfriend that they were going for a walk and Chenle put on his outside clothes: boots, then scarf, then hat, then gloves, then coat.

“Have fun and don’t get lost”, Doyoung said and quickly stole a kiss from his boyfriend before he put on shoes and jacket to join Chenle outside.  
It was dark outside but the street lights being reflected by the snow and the colorful lights the neighborhood was decorated in made everything seem bright and colorful.  
They started walking, Chenle leading direction and tempo. Taeyong took some pictures in an attempt to hold on to the beautiful atmosphere.

“I’m happy that you’re here with us”, Chenle said after a while, making Taeyong smile again.  
“You make dad happy, and Haechan, and me, too. I’m sorry I can’t show it. I want to, but I don’t know how and whenever I try it feels uncomfortable”, Chenle confessed, half of his face hidden in his scarf.  
“It’s okay, Chenle. You know, my old girlfriend, a few years before I met Doyoungie, didn’t understand those things. I was really shy back then - still am, but I’m getting better - and she would often pressure me to do things I didn’t want but that’s not okay. You alone decide your pace. And even if you never do things like others do them, that’s okay, too. But if you want to talk, you can always come to me, or your dad of course.”  
Chenle nodded and Taeyong felt like he was oversharing. But his little story had a message, so sharing it with the kid - teen, actually, Chenle was sixteen now - had a point. Right?

“I don’t like girls. Haechan does. Sometimes he likes boys, too. But I don’t like either. Some of my classmates asked if I was still a virgin and I didn’t even know what that means. I don’t mind. I have better things to do. But sometimes they talk about me when they think I can’t hear them - or maybe they know I do - and I never know if I should say something or not, because technically they aren’t talking to me, so I don’t have to respond, right?” Taeyong needed a while to process the boy’s words. He knew Chenle wasn’t exactly popular in school, he only had two friends he knew of and one of them lived in China, but now he was a little worried.

“I don’t know. I think it depends on what they are talking about. If they’re being mean, maybe you should say something to defend yourself. If it’s just unimportant things, I guess it’s fine to ignore them.”

“Sometimes they talk Japanese, or Thai, or Viet, so I don’t know what they’re saying. I just hear my name and some things I know from anime or that sound similar in Chinese. Sometimes they speak English, too. That’s funny because they don’t know I understand every word they say.”

“And your friend, Jisung, does he understand what they’re saying?”

“No, he’s deaf. That’s why I wanted the book. Neither of us minds texting and little notes but it’s pretty inconvenient sometimes. So even if he understood what they’re saying, he doesn’t hear them unless they stand right next to him and he can read their lips.” Taeyong was, once again, at a loss of words. Even though it used to make him uncomfortable, he was always one of the popular kids in school, but his friends - his actual friends - had to put up with a lot of mean comments.

“Chenle, if you’re being bullied…”

“That’s not it. Even if I’m being bullied, I don’t notice. I just hear them talk sometimes and don’t know if I’m supposed to react. It doesn’t really bother me.”  
Taeyong didn’t say anything else after that, nor did Chenle. They walked home in peaceful silence, both lost in their thoughts, admiring the pretty winter scenery.

“We’re back!” Taeyong exclaimed as he closed the door and took off shoes and jacket. He entered the living room and sat down next to Doyoung who was still trying to defeat his fourteen year old son in Mario Kart.

“I swear I won when you were outside.”  
“No, dad, you didn’t. Taeyongie, will you play with me when I’m done destroying dad?”  
“Uhm, sure, but I might be even worse than him.”  
“Great, then you two can play together!”

Haechan won the race, his face shining with pride, while Doyoung got fifth place. The boy gave the controller to Taeyong and snacked on some christmas chocolate while he watched the adults fight. He was surprised to see Taeyong so competitive, even though he really was even worse than Doyoung. In the end Doyoung stuck to his fifth place while Taeyong came in last with a pout on his face. Haechan laughed and almost choked on his chocolate Santa while Doyoung played with his boyfriend’s hair, teasing him while adoring the babyface of a 27 years old man.

“Okay, do you want to play against me or Taeyongie? This is the last round, then we’re going to bed, so choose wisely.”  
“I’ll play against Taeyongie!”  
The man whined, ready to be defeated by a little kid, but accepted the challenge. The race ended, as expected, with Haechan in the first place while Taeyong was proud of himself for making it to ninth place. They turned off Wii and TV and cleaned up the huge pile of gift wrap before saying goodnight to each of the kids.

“Did you have a nice day?”, Doyoung asked when Taeyong joined him in bed after finishing his bedtime routine.  
“I did. It was great. Thank you.” Taeyong gave his boyfriend a kiss on the lips and put his head on his chest, cuddling close to keep himself warm.  
“I talked to the kids and they really enjoyed today, too. They like you.” Taeyong smiled into the darkness.  
“I like them, too. Haechan is like a little puppy and Chenle is an angel, both with so much potential. They will both make it very far, I’m sure of that.”  
Doyoung kissed his boyfriend’s dark brown, strawberry-scented hair and pulled him even closer.  
“I’m glad to hear you thinking about the future like that.” Doyoung chuckled and Taeyong’s head moved on his chest.  
“I don’t want to think about what could go wrong. I wasted so much time on that.”  
“You don’t have to. Everything will be alright. We’re gonna relax the rest of the week, then celebrate a wonderful New Year’s Eve with the kids. It will be perfect.”

“I love you.”  
“I love you, too. Now try to sleep or Chenle will be up again before we got any sleep at all.”  
Taeyong sighed and closed his eyes. The life he was living now was still unreal to him. If someone had told him just a few years ago that he would be a not-yet-official step-father of two at the age of twenty-seven, he would’ve laughed at them. Now just thinking about not having them around made him tear up. Doyoung’s breath was slow, even and the most soothing thing Taeyong had ever experienced.

Chenle spent his evening recording little signing videos for Jisung, taking in corrections on his movements and trying to read the videos Jisung sent back. Chenle showed him the ukulele he got and promised Jisung to teach him some songs once he got them right.  
A few hours later Jisung went to sleep and Chenle texted Renjun back. They talked about books and anime and Chenle enjoyed getting a little break from all the festive things going on.  
The end of the year was always difficult but he was happy to see his dad spend it with someone else.  
Chenle didn’t know much about love and dating and romance but he knew his dad needed someone in his life, someone his age, someone he could love the way adults loved, and now this person was Taeyong.  
When Renjun went to sleep as well, Chenle took his new headphone and closed his eyes, listening to a bunch of sad girls singing ballads in their bathtub while playing the ukulele.


	2. Chapter 2

Doyoung fell asleep to a series of bad dreams.   
This year was the ten year anniversary of Doyoung's family deciding the sin he committed by dating a boy was even worse than the sin of impregnating a woman pre-marriage. 

He had gotten used to celebrating christmas with only his sons, so when Taeyong told him a few days ago that his parents wanted to visit them, it made him both happy and nervous.   
He got so nervous that a part of him hoped Chenle would be completely against strangers coming to their house for two days so he could decline on his son's behalf, but to his surprise, he didn't.

"It's fine, I will just hide in my room if I don't like them" Chenle had told him, and Doyoung envied him for the options being a child gave him. He hadn't heard much about Taeyong's parents before, as they usually avoided any family-related conversations, for Doyoung's sake, but Taeyong assured him they had been completely okay with him being gay from the very beginning, therefore they were really supporting and accepting. But Doyoung wasn't like Taeyong. Doyoung was a messy bisexual who smoked, drank alcohol and had a child out of marriage at the age of eighteen. Taeyong wasn't anything like that; he was a neat freak, homosexual without being "obviously a fag", didn't do drugs and he was still a virgin. How could they not love a son like him?  
Taeyong tried his best to assure Doyoung that his parents were really nice and that all of them could need the company of other people but that didn't keep the bad dreams away. Dreams of what had happened before, what could have happened, what could still happen.

When Taeyong woke up the next day it was still dark outside. He turned away from Doyoung to take a look at the digital clock on his nightstand; 6.12 AM, Dec 25. He sighed at the realization that his parents would arrive in just a few hours and turned back to his boyfriend and the warm, comforting atmosphere he gave off.  
Taeyong loved his parents, but he also loved spending time with Doyoung alone, even when he was still asleep.

The alarm went off eighteen minutes later and Taeyong gave Doyoung a soft kiss on the lips before he got up to follow his morning routine. He put on his fluffy slippers and went to the kitchen to start the coffee machine, then entered the bathroom to take a quick, cold shower. The coffee was done by the time he got out of the shower and waddled back to the kitchen, dressed in his purple bathrobe. Most of the time, Doyoung was up by now, greeting him with a kiss and a full cup of coffee, black.

"Did you sleep well?" Taeyong asked as he leaned against the fridge in their "way too small" kitchen. Doyoung just sipped his coffee, still half asleep.  
"I hope everything goes right", Doyoung answered in a whisper, his voice still sleepy, and Taeyong gave him a reassuring smile.  
"I'm sure it'll be fine. They love me, I love you, even if they don't like you right from the beginning, they will at least give you like five more chances."  
Doyoung nodded slightly, still lost in his thoughts.  
"It's not just me, you know. It's the kids, too. I know Chenle said it would be fine but what if they dislike each other? They aren't you. They're a different generation. And Chenle, you know how he is. What if they get the wrong impression of him? I'm his father. Their father."  
"Doie, don't worry about it. You're just going to make me nervous, too and then we're both nervous, the kids will notice, my parents will notice, and then maybe it won't go as well. Relax. Smoke another cigarette, if that helps. I just want you to have a nice time today, okay?"  
Doyoung nodded and kissed his boyfriend's forehead.  
"I love you, Lee Taeyong. I will go outside and you get dressed, I don't want you to get sick again."

Chenle didn't leave his room until 11 AM, and when Doyoung saw him wearing his comfort hoodie, worries started to boil up again.  
"You okay Lele?" he asked when Chenle took a pack of vanilla milk from the fridge. The boy shrugged, then nodded, and took a sip of his drink.  
"Where's Taeyong?"  
"Cleaning the living room. I don't know what exactly he's cleaning but you know how he is. So maybe don't go in there now." Chenle nodded and took another sip of his milk. He had walked in on Taeyong cleaning the bathroom before and "almost died" when he was hit by a cloud of citrus-scented floor soap. Haechan entered the kitchen dressed in his new jersey which earned him a judging glace from Chenle.

"Stop that!" Haechan complained and grabbed an apple.  
"I didn't say anything," Chenle said in defense, completely aware of the power his change of facial expression had.  
"I don't care if you dislike jerseys, I'm wearing it."  
"Then why are you complaining if you don't care? I think me not saying anything is a good-enough compromise." Haechan rolled his eyes and took a bite of his apple.  
"Okay, I'll go see if Taeyong's done yet and you two, please don't fight, okay? At least not in front of his parents." The kids nodded and left the room behind their dad, each going back into their own room.

"Oh, hey Doyoungie. I just finished cleaning, give it like five minutes until the smell's out." Doyoung nodded and put his arms around Taeyong's neck loosely, keeping him close without risking him dropping the cleaning supplies.  
"You know I love you a lot, right?" Taeyong nodded and looked at his boyfriend with his sparkling puppy eyes. He wasn't wearing any makeup, just covered a few spots on his otherwise perfect skin.  
"I love you, too. And I'm glad you agreed to this."

"Taeyongie! I think your parents are here!" Haechan yelled out of his room from where he could see every car that parked in the area of their house. Taeyong jumped up from the couch and ran outside into the snow after he slipped into his converse. Doyoung followed him slowly, the nervousness rising with every step. Taeyong hugged his parents and they laughed and then Doyoung was only a few inches away from them.

"So you are Doyoung, I assume?" Taeyong's father said, holding his wife by the hip. Doyoung nodded and bowed before Taeyong started clinging to his side.  
"I'm Taewon, this is my wife, Suhyun."  
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Doyoung said and bowed his head again.  
"Let us help you bring your things inside!" Taeyong offered and opened the trunk of his parents' car. He gave his dad's backpack to Doyoung and took his mom's smaller one before leading everyone back inside.  
"You can- I will- Wait, let me just-" Doyoung took the backpack out of Taeyong's hand and received a thankful smile. He brought the luggage into the living room and saw his kids sitting on the couch.  
"Should we help with anything?" Haechan asked but Doyoung just shook his head.  
"No, I think we're good. You should go introduce yourselves, though." The three of them left the living room and met Taeyong and his parents in the kitchen.

"Hello, I'm Haechan and this is my brother Chenle. Nice to meet you." The kids bowed and Taeyong's bright energy helped Doyoung feel a little more at ease.  
"Oh, hello there. I'm Suhyun, this is my husband, Taewon. How old are you two?"  
"I am 14, Chenle is 16. I know, I look older than him." Haechan grinned and glanced at Chenle who had a hard time trying to keep eye contact with the strangers.  
"Why don't we go sit down in the living room? The kitchen is way too small for all of us." Taeyong suggested and pushed everyone outside.

"So how was Christmas evening at home?" Taeyong asked and took Doyoung's hand in his own.  
"Relaxing. Your sister took Ruby to her boyfriend so it was really just the two of us. We took a walk to church and donated the extra money we would usually spend on a meal for four people. It really was a magical night." Taeyong's mom looked at her husband with the same love in her eyes Taeyong had felt for Doyoung on their first date.   
"That sounds great. I saw the pictures of Ruby under the tree, I really need to visit my little baby soon. I miss her so much." Taeyong had shown Doyoung more pictures of his dog than of himself when they first started dating but he could see why he loved his dog so much.  
"Why don't you take a seat, boy?" Taeyong's mother asked when she noticed Chenle was still standing next to Doyoung's place on the couch and Haechan's armchair. He shook his head and Doyoung turned his head up to check on his son. He knew Chenle wanted to sit down, but he also knew that Chenle wouldn't do so unless Taeyong's dad got up from his spot on the second armchair.  
"Oh, uhm, he usually sits where you sit, dad." Taeyong said and gave Chenle an apologetic look. He had planned to keep anyone from sitting there but seeing his parents again got him so excited that he completely forgot about it.

"I'm fine with standing", Chenle lied, forcing a smile on his lips.  
"I see you still keep your things clean. Doyoung, are you as much of a neat freak as our kid?" Taeyong's mom asked but Doyoung shook his head truthfully.  
"No, I'm quite messy, to be honest, but I try to clean up after myself."  
"Don't worry about it, he can be pretty scrupulous about it." His mom chuckled and took a sip of her coffee.  
"Quite a pedant" his dad added, making Chenle bite his lip at the use of that word. He hated hearing it. No matter what he did, the favorite terms for others to describe him as was a "pedantic smartass". He was getting bored of it.  
They started talking about Doyoung's job and Taeyong's job and Chenle was having a great time alone in his thoughts. He was going through the hand signs he had learned, the songs he had heard the sad bathtub girls play on their ukuleles and at some point started creating deeply philosophical poems in his head.

Sparkly winter nights.   
Awkward family meetings.   
I wish they were gone.

Halloween is over.  
Elephants are cute.  
Lele plays the ukulele.  
Pancakes are delicious.

My ukulele.  
I wish I could play it now.  
What a waste of time.

Doyoung tapped his hand and pulled Chenle out of his peaceful little bubble. Haechan was talking about how much he enjoyed PE in school and Chenle knew what that meant - he would be the next to talk about his experiences in school.  
"And Chenle, how about you? How are you doing in school?"  
"How I'm doing in school? I'm doing good. I'm more of a science guy. I don't like PE."  
"Who would've thought" Taeyong's dad exclaimed with a chuckle which was too much for Chenle to interpret at this point, so he just ignored it.  
"And I'm doing okay in English, too. Korean not so much."  
"He's best of his grade in English and math!" Taeyong added proudly and smiled at Chenle who just nodded. He didn't know what else to say.  
"No friends? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?"  
"No friends? I'm friends with Jisung. And Renjun but he lives in China." Was he supposed to say that? Did that matter? Was he supposed to say more?   
"Right, your name is Chinese, too, isn't it? Is your mother Chinese?" Chenle nodded again, just now noticing that they had pronounced his name correctly from the very beginning.  
"Is she…" Taeyong's mom started and her eyes wandered from Chenle to Doyoung.  
"It's a long story," he said, "maybe tomorrow."  
"Okay. So you don't have a boyfriend, no? A girlfriend, maybe?" He felt like the eyes of both Taeyong's mom and his dad were trying to suck the soul out of his body.  
"I don't date."  
"Well you can't get married nowadays when you don't date, can you?" Taeyong's father joined in, creating an awkward silence while Chenle tried to figure out where this conversation could be going and how he could lead it to a different topic as fast as possible.   
"I know."  
"You know you can't have sex before-"  
"Mom! Please." Taeyong hid his face behind his hands and lightly hit his mom with his shoulder.  
"I'm just saying! If he starts too late there will be no pretty ladies left."  
"Mom, please, that's really not the time."  
"I need to go to the bathroom," Chenle said and left the room. He heard Taeyong talk about what a good, innocent kid he was and Haechan complaining about him being nice, too, before the door to his room cancelled the noise out completely. He dropped onto his bed and sighed. Just the first few minutes would've been enough for Chenle to call it a day and go back to sleep. He responded to Renjun asking if Taeyong's parents had arrived, and to Jisung wishing him good luck. Chenle glanced at his ukulele but resisted the urge to play it in order to keep the lie of him being on the toilet up just a little longer. Instead he put on his headphones and started his soundcloud playlist, staring at his ceiling, ready to get lost in his thoughts again, but getting lost turned out to be pretty hard.

Stupid grandparents.  
I don't even know their names.  
Please send them away.

Pedantic smartass.  
Chenle does not enjoy school.  
Leave Chenle alone.

He sat up and started playing with the left sleeve of his worn-out hoodie while his right hand hit his collarbone again and again and again. It didn't hurt, but there was something about the repetitive movement and the dull feeling of bone on bone that gave him at least some sort of comfort. He shook his head and tried to teleport his spirit to a more peaceful place; the river he had found with Jisung, hidden deep in the woods, or the cabin Renjun had sent him pictures of, but nothing seemed to work.

Stupid, stupid dad.  
I hate you for what you did.  
Kick Taeyong Hyung out.

A yelp of shock and hatred left Chenle's mouth. He didn't want to think like that. He loved his dad. He liked Taeyong. He liked that his dad loved Taeyong. Those thoughts were not what he believed in. They weren't his. He would never do nor think anything like that.

Kill them already.  
You don't need them anyway.  
Just stay by yourself.

They would not miss you.  
You got to choose; you or them.  
Choose wisely, smartass.

"Chenle, are you okay? Lele, hey!" Doyoung closed the door behind himself and sat down next to his son gripping his own hair so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Lele, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe." Doyoung carefully tried to pull Chenle into a hug but got a fist in his face instead.  
"Dad, dad, dad, dad-"  
"It's okay! It's fine. Calm down."   
He took Chenle's hands and guided them to one of his favorite plushies, a blue rabbit Jisung had gotten him two years ago.   
Chenle opened his eyes and hugged the bunny with his left arm, his right fist hitting his collarbone again. It hurt Doyoung to watch his son hit himself but he figured this was still better than him ripping his own hair out. 

With every second that passed, Doyoung felt more and more guilty for what happened. He knew there wasn't really anything he could've done to prevent what happened but he had had the feeling before that something would go wrong. He should've listened to himself. 

"Are you feeling better?" Doyoung asked when Chenle's breath was going back to normal and he wasn't hitting himself as much anymore. The boy nodded but didn't look at Doyoung. The shame of his own thoughts, his action, was haunting him already.  
"'m sorry" he mumbled, still hugging his plushie.  
"It's okay, I don't blame you." Doyoung eyed the strand of purple hair on the mattress with worry and a feeling of helplessness.  
"I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to think that."  
"What do you mean? What thoughts?"   
"Bad thoughts." Doyoung bit his lip, not knowing what else to say that could help his son.  
"Do you want me to leave? That's completely fine with me. Or I can get Taeyong."  
"First." Doyoung nodded and got up from his bed, looking at his son one last time before he closed the door again.

"Did he fall asleep on the toilet?" Taeyong's mom asked with a chuckle and Doyoung had a hard time putting on a mask.  
"No, but he's feeling nauseated and won't join for dinner." He took his seat next to Taeyong and took his warm hand.  
"Can I go to my room, too?" Haechan asked and Doyoung nodded. He rubbed his temples and sighed while Taeyong drew little hearts on the back of Doyoung's hand using his thumb.  
"Are you okay, Doie?"  
"Yeah, I just need a minute." He got up and went to the patio to smoke. Taeyong's eyes followed him outside, the excited spark long gone.

"Mom, that was really unnecessary. He's 16! And you just met him today."  
"Oh, I'm sorry I want to make sure your child grows up well."  
"Let us take care of that, okay? Actually, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He's a good child with a few quirks, so what? I'm going to check on Doyoung. There's the remote, just watch something, talk, I don't know." Taeyong got up and opened the big glass door that led outside. 

He moved Doyoung's hands out of his lap so he could take a seat, carefully avoiding the hot cigarette.  
"Hey. Are you okay? Is he okay? I'm sorry that happened."  
"It's not your fault. And I'm okay. Just worried." Doyoung sighed and took a long hit of his cigarette.  
"What happened? I doubt he just got nauseated." Doyoung shook his head.  
"He freaked out and accidentally hit me once because I tried to hug him. It was my fault but he feels bad about it and I don't know what to do." Taeyong pouted and played with the necklace around his boyfriend's neck.  
"I could try talking to him. Maybe after dinner, then I could make sure he gets something to eat, too."  
"Maybe."  
"I'm really sorry it turned out like this. I wanted you to have a good time, I didn't know my mom had no filter at all."  
"It's okay. It's not your fault."  
"I forgot to save his seat."  
"It's not your fault. It's just that he volunteered to meet them, I think he was actually excited, but now…" Doyoung sighed and put the cigarette in his ashtray.  
"We should start cooking." Taeyong nodded and kissed Doyoung before getting up from his lap and back inside.


	3. Christmas Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while but here's the third chapter!
> 
> Thanks to my beta hyung!
> 
> Now please enjoy <3

After negotiating with Haechan and Chenle, they had agreed on steak and fried potatoes with some veggies and pasta salad. Taeyong's parents went on a walk while the couple made dinner, exploring the area their son decided to move into.

"Can I help?" Chenle sneaked around a lot, walking on the balls of his feet, and yet Taeyong still got scared half of the times he appeared in a room.  
"Do you want to make the salad?" Doyoung asked and his son nodded. He washed his hands, put on gloves and started cutting carrots. Doyoung filled a pot with water and noodles and put it on the stove.  
"We really need a bigger kitchen," Taeyong whined when all stovetops were occupied.  
"I know, sweetheart. I know. But we'll have to work with what we got."  
"Jisung's kitchen is smaller," Chenle said in an attempt to ease Taeyong's discomfort about their unfortunate living situation.  
"I guess I'm a little spoiled. Our kitchen back at home is almost twice as big."   
He turned the steaks and spiced them. Chenle put the carrots in a bowl and got peas out of the freezer to let them thaw.

"What's Hyuck doing?" Doyoung asked. Chenle shrugged and started cutting sausages.  
"Well, as long as he's done when we're eating. I'm not going to wait for him to finish a 20 minute round of an online game again," Doyoung huffed, making Taeyong chuckle.  
"Should I go check what he's doing?"  
"Please. Unless you want him to throw a tantrum in front of your parents." Taeyong took the steak out of the pan and went to knock on Haechan's door.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Doyoung said with a soft smile.  
"I'm sorry for hitting you."  
"I know you are. But it's alright, you aren't exactly strong," Doyoung teased and put the fried potatoes in a bowl.  
"I broke Hyuckie's nose once."  
"No, he broke his nose on your head. You barely had anything to do with that."

Taeyong entered the kitchen again with a relieved sigh.  
"He's transferring songs to his iPod. Oh, the potatoes are done?"  
"Yeah, and I put the steaks in the oven to keep them warm," Doyoung said and took the noodles off the stove.  
"Do you want to do the rest?" he asked, and Chenle nodded.  
"Okay, call us when you're done or need help." Doyoung and Taeyong went to the living room and collapsed on the couch.

"Good to see he's doing better already." Doyoung nodded and hugged his boyfriend.  
"I'll make sure my parents won't say anything inappropriate again. They really don't mean it." The doorbell rang and Doyoung sighed as Taeyong jumped up.  
"Can't I have five minutes with my boyfriend?"  
"Not today!"

Doyoung got the festive dish set Taeyong had brought into their home out of a cupboard and started setting the table.

"A nice area you live in," Taeyong's mother said when they entered the room, and Doyoung almost laughed.  
"'Nice' isn't exactly the word I would choose, but it's something," Doyoung responded.  
"I like it, too," Taeyong chimed in, "it's quiet and peaceful." He kissed his boyfriend's cheek and sat down on the couch with his parents.  
"Does anybody want a drink? Beer, coffee, tea?" Doyoung asked when the table was set.  
"I'll take a tea. What about you, Mommy? Daddy?"

Doyoung smiled at his boyfriend's innocence. With every second he spent with his parents, he seemed to travel further back into his childhood. His parents asked for a cup of coffee each and Doyoung joined Chenle in the kitchen.  
"Oh, did you make coffee?" he asked and Chenle nodded, sipping the hot liquid from his mug.  
"Fill two cups please, and start the kettle." Chenle put his coffee down and did what he was told. Doyoung got a beer from the fridge and opened it with a lighter. Chenle had tried opening bottles like that before but never succeeded. It pissed him off quite a bit. He hated not knowing how to do such easy things. 

"Are they really staying two days?" Chenle asked as Doyoung put his beer aside, taking the two mugs for Taeyong's parents instead.  
"As far as I'm informed, yes. But Taeyong said he talked to them, it should be fine." They left the kitchen together.

"Here's your coffee, tell me if you need milk, sugar's on the table."

"Dad, when's dinner? I'm fucking hungry!" Haechan complained as he entered the living room and stopped awkwardly when he saw Taeyong's parents.  
"Oh, uhm, oopsie."  
"Language, brat. But yes, we will eat soon." Doyoung didn't miss the judging glance Taeyong got from his parents, nor did the two kids.  
"Sorry," Haechan said quietly and got a slap on the back of his head when he passed Chenle. They started hissing at each other like snakes until Doyoung cleared his throat.  
"Yongie, could you help me get the food on the table?" Doyoung asked and Taeyong quickly followed him into the kitchen.

"Sorry, Hyung. My mouth is faster than my brain, you know," Haechan said in a kind-of-apology and Taeyong nodded.  
"It's fine, don't worry about it."  
"I didn't know making a good impression would be this difficult," Doyoung said and took the bowl of pasta salad Chenle had made. Taeyong pouted and took the steaks.  
"You're giving this too much thought. They're not as strict as they act."  
"Because you're an angel, Taeyong. A literal angel. There's nothing to be strict about with you." They entered the living room again and put the food on the table.

"Can we be of any help?" Taeyong's mom asked from where they were still seated on the couch.  
"You could come with me while Doie gets the kids," Taeyong suggested and Doyoung kissed his head before leaving the room to get his kids, who had once again disappeared into their rooms.

"They're angels," Taeyong said as he led his parents into the kitchen.  
"Your boyfriend, is he scared of us or is he just like that? I thought you were the girl in the relationship," Taeyong's dad grinned, bumping his elbow in Taeyong's side.  
"He wants to make a good impression, that's what makes him so insecure. He's really the man here; the perfect man!" Taeyong smiled and handed the rest of the meal to his parents.  
"But do you like him?"   
"I do," his mom said and smiled.  
"As long as he takes good care of you he got my approval," Taeyong's dad said, as usual way more distanced than his mother.  
"He does. He does," Taeyong promised, and entered the living room to the kids already sitting at the table. They heard the toilet flush and with Doyoung sitting down at the table, they were finally complete.

"You don't have to say anything, but could you hold each other's hands?" Taeyong asked as his mother took his and her husband's hand. He saw a spark in Chenle's eyes and feared the boy would panic again, but Chenle gave him a shy smile and took Haechan's hand next to him, Doyoung's around the corner of the table. Taeyong smiled back and closed his eyes.  
"Heavenly Father, love came down on Christmas Day, and love brings us together now to share this holiday feast. We ask you to bless our food and all of us here. We remember those we love who are not with us today, but who remain with us in spirit. With grateful hearts, we thank you for all the blessings you have given us this year and we pray for peace in families and nations around the world. Amen."  
His parents repeated the last word of his prayer, and so did Chenle. Haechan looked at him weirdly but didn't say anything. Taeyong's father filled his plate with food and gave a warm smile to the rest of the table, "Please enjoy your meal." 

The rest of the family filled their plates and started eating. Everyone had something nice to say and everyone radiated a warm, happy energy. Not the happy energy Haechan radiated; the loud, bubbly kind of happy that often made Chenle uncomfortable and gave him a headache. It was the kind of happy energy of the walks he took outside with Jisung or Taeyong. The kind of happy energy where there was love in the air, without anybody having to say a word. The kind of happy energy Chenle craved when things got too much again.  
"This tastes really good," Taeyong's mom praised and Taeyong smiled widely.  
"I'm glad you like it. Do you, dad?" His father nodded, chewing a big piece of steak.  
"Just how I like it," he said after swallowing, "great job."  
"I like it, too. Told you steak would be a great idea," Haechan bragged, looking at Chenle.  
"I didn't say it's a bad idea. I just said I prefer chicken."   
"We will make Hoisin Chicken and Dumplings on New Year's Eve, okay?" Taeyong promised with a hopeful smile, and Chenle nodded.  
"Too bad we can't stay that long!" Taeyong's mom exclaimed with a sad face.  
"I will come visit you soon so we can cook together," Taeyong suggested, making his mother smile again.  
"I would love that."

Chenle wondered what the house Taeyong grew up in looked like. He knew they had a bigger kitchen. Was there a garden? They had a dog, so there probably was a garden. What did his room look like? How did it change over the years? Chenle wasn't sure where this sudden interest in Taeyong's childhood came from. Maybe he would ask him about it the next time they went outside together.

"Are you done already?", Taeyong's mom asked when he saw that there was still half a steak and some potatoes left on his plate.  
"I will finish it," Chenle said, "I just eat pretty slowly."  
"Leaves more to me," Haechan grinned as he put another steak on his plate.  
"You really love food, don't you?" Taeyong's mom asked, and Haechan nodded with a big smile.  
"I move a lot more than Lele does, so I can eat more without gaining weight." He stuffed his mouth with steak and potatoes and smiled at the taste.  
"I'm not on a diet," Chenle complained. He hated it when people criticized his eating habits; anybody's eating habits. Why couldn't people mind their own business?  
"I think I'll have to go on one after this great meal," Taeyong's mom laughed, cleaning her lips with a handkerchief.  
"You look great, love," her husband assured and put his hand on hers. Taeyong smiled at the interaction. Even more so when Doyoung put his own hand on his as well. Chenle wasn't quite sure why a simple thing like that made them so happy, even though he was a big fan of appreciating the little things. Maybe this wasn't little enough for him. He couldn't recall the last time he held someone's hand for reasons that weren't him trying not to lose Jisung in a crowd, or Jisung trying to warm his hands when he didn't take gloves outside.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going a full on marathon with this. Lovely.
> 
> I feel like this could be so much better but?? I haven't been to a christmas market in so long now ahhhh. I miss that. M-maybe this year....
> 
> (Thanks for editing hyung ly)

Chenle woke up as early as he always does. He was still covered in his blanket, warm and heavy, but his body felt like he had slept naked with no cover at all.  
He took his fluffy socks from underneath the pillow and pulled them on. They were striped and came in a pack of three - blue shades, pink shades, purple shades. He got out of his bed and waddled into the kitchen. He rolled his eyes when he saw light shining through the living room door. Was it really that hard to turn off the light before they went to sleep?  
He sighed and entered the room, only to see Taeyong's mother sit on the couch with a ball of light blue wool on her lap. She took a look at the watch and smiled at Chenle.  
"Taeyong told me you got up early." He nodded and waddled into the kitchen to start the kettle.  
"Do you… Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked as he sneaked back to the living room.  
"That would be lovely," Taeyong's mom said and continued knitting. 

Chenle went back into the kitchen and stared at the kettle. It was warmer here than it was in his room. The kettle hissed at him and steam escaped up into the air. He took two cups from the cupboard and two bags of tea from their box. He wasn't sure what Taeyong's mom liked, so he just gave her the Lushan Yunwu tea he liked so much. He opened the kettle to let the water cool down a bit, then filled the cups with water. He pulled his sleeves over his hands and took the cups into the living room.

"Thank you, dear," Taeyong's mom said and Chenle smiled as he sat down on his place, knees pulled up to his chest.  
"What are you doing?" he asked shyly, as he watched the woman work on the soft-looking wool.  
"A scarf," she answered with a smile, "it's for Taeyong. He likes this color." Chenle nodded.  
Taeyong often asked sales assistants if they had a certain item in blue and got excited when they did.  
"I'm sure it would look good with your hair," she added and Chenle nodded.

"Can I touch it?" he asked and put the cup on the couch table, next to the other one.  
"Sure. It's merino wool. The softest of the softest." Chenle leaned forward and touched the end of the scarf. It was quite long already.  
"It feels nice. When did you start it?"  
"I've been up for a while now, but I started about an hour ago. Everything from here, where the color changes, I've done today." Chenle nodded in awe. The first few inches of the scarf were a little darker than the wool she was working with now.

"Oh, I think the tea is done," Chenle said, and took the bags out of the water. The spoons he had taken with him served as tea bag holders until he safely reached the kitchen without having the tea drip anywhere.  
He went back to the living room and sat down as he did before, blowing the tea in his sleeve-covered hands. Taeyong's mom continued knitting while her tea was left to cool down on its own. Her movements were fluid, the needles never getting tangled up in the wool. It seemed soothing.  
"Do you know how to knit?" the woman asked and Chenle shook his head slowly.  
"Would you like to learn it?" He smiled and nodded.  
Jisung's mom knew how to knit, he got a new scarf every year, and sometimes gave an old one to Chenle, but neither of the boys ever really considered learning how to knit.

"It's really easy, and scarves are perfect for starters." She finished the row she was working at and turned around a bit so Chenle could watch over her shoulder while she showed him what she was doing slowly and in detail.  
"Do you want to try?" Chenle nodded and put his mug down.  
Taeyong's mom gave the needles to him and put the ball of wool in his lap. The boy pushed the needle underneath the string, put the wool around it, pulled the needle back over the other one. He repeated this with the remaining 23 loops. Two times he got caught up in the strings but noticed early enough to fix it.

"Very good," Taeyong's mom praised as Chenle gave the scarf and wool back to her.  
"The wool is really nice to work with," Chenle said, still enjoying the memory of the soft feeling on his skin.  
"You're really talented, Chenle." She put the needles in her lap and took a sip of her tea.  
"Mhhh, what is this?"  
"Lushan Yunwu tea," the boy answered and took a sip. They remained silent for a while, and Chenle almost fell back asleep.  
"I will go take a shower," he said after finishing his tea. He brought his mug into the kitchen and got new clothes from his room.

When he got out of the shower, Taeyong's mom hadn't moved a bit - still knitting her scarf and sipping her tea.  
Chenle disappeared into his room and collapsed into his bean sack next to his bed. He took the bible from underneath his pillow and started reading.  
Jisung had given him the book just before Christmas holidays, and Chenle tried to read a bit everyday. He hadn't shown it to his dad, or his brother, knowing neither of them were particularly interested in religion. Maybe he would show Taeyong at some point.

Just a few minutes later Chenle heard someone call his name. He got up with a sigh and opened his door.  
"What?", he asked with an annoyed undertone.  
"We're making breakfast, do you want pancakes with eggs or bananas?" Haechan asked.  
"Bananas."  
"Good, come help."  
"Why do you need my help for pancakes?" Chenle asked, genuinely confused since there was nothing difficult about pancakes and, to say it in Taeyong's words, their kitchen was too small for unnecessary company.  
"Well, you could set the table! Come one now." 

The young boy disappeared into the kitchen and Chenle sighed. He followed his little brother and started placing plates, knives and forks on the table.

"What should I get except nougat cream?" Chenle asked while his brother whisked the dough.  
"Jam! Does honey on pancakes work? I've never tried that, actually. Take honey, too. Oh, and sugar, of course. Cinnamon- Whoops."  
Chenle shook his head in disappointment when his brother spilled dough on his shirt.  
"You had an apron when you were smaller. Maybe we should get you a new one," he suggested, and took the missing toppings to the table. 

Taeyong left the bathroom and smiled at the older of the two boys.  
"Good morning, Lele. Did you sleep well?"  
The boy nodded.  
"But it was a little cold when I woke up. I don't know why."  
"So you spent the morning in the living room with my mom?"  
"Yes, that was nice. We drank tea and she taught me how to knit. She's-" Chenle stopped himself. Was he supposed to tell Taeyong his mom was making a scarf for him? Did he know? Was it a surprise?  
"She's what?" Taeyong asked, and Chenle cringed at himself.  
"Uhm, nice. She's nice."  
This wasn't exactly a lie. Chenle had enjoyed the silent morning with her quite a lot.  
"Where is she now?"  
"She went on a walk with dad. They do that every morning." Taeyong smiled at his parents dynamics, and Chenle thought this was in fact admirable.  
Doyoung left their shared bedroom and hugged Taeyong from behind, pressing a kiss on his cheek.  
"Morning, Chenle."  
"Morning. Do we have any plans for today?" The boy asked his father-couple and Taeyong clapped his hands immediately.  
"Christmas market!" he said excitedly, and Chenle's mood dropped a little. He enjoyed the idea of Christmas markets. In his mind, he enjoyed the many, colorful lights, the Christmas carols, the festive scents, and all the happy people. But in reality, those were the exact things he didn't know how to handle.  
"Can I take my earphones?" He asked pleadingly and Taeyong pouted a little.  
"But the music is so nice," he said, and Doyoung kissed his head before finally letting go of him.  
"You can take them with you, but try not to wear them the whole time, okay?" Chenle nodded and the doorbell rang.

"I'm almost done!" Haechan yelled, and Taeyong opened the door for his parents.  
"This is what I call a white Christmas," his mom said with a big smile, the fur of her hood decorated with a layer of huge snowflakes.

"Good morning, my love." She took off her coat and kissed Taeyong's cheek.  
"Do you want something to drink? Haechan is making pancakes!"  
"I'd love a cup of coffee, please."  
"I'm fine, thank you, son." 

Chenle was still torn about his opinion on Taeyong's dad. The man didn't say all too much, which was a good thing, generally, but Chenle couldn't read him, either. He wasn't sure if he thought of him as a freak, or as rude, or as polite, or as annoying. Maybe he was a CEO or in a position of similar importance, Chenle thought. Such a serious face, careful speech. He had no idea which categories he could fit into, and it bothered him a lot.

"Breakfast is ready!" Haechan yelled, and everyone gathered at the table once again.  
The youngest waited impatiently while their guests spoke their prayer. Having grown up with a non-religious single father, Haechan had no connection to religion whatsoever. Chenle always got into weird things, so he wasn't surprised when his brother started praying and talking about religion.

"So, who's going to drive in which car?" Doyung asked after putting the dishes into the dishwasher.  
"I'll drive with you," Taeyong said standing between his parents, his arm hooked in with his mom’s.  
"I wanna drive with dad."  
"Me too."

Everyone got dressed, Chenle held his backpack close to his chest, and they went outside.  
"Actually," Haechan said when he spotted the big car Taeyong's parents owned, "I think I might sit with Taeyong Hyung."  
Taeyong ruffled the boy's hair and opened a door for him.  
"Traitor," Doyoung said dramatically and opened the door of his car. Chenle got into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt.  
"Thanks for staying with me," he said as he started the car and Chenle nodded.  
"No problem. Can I play music?"  
"Sure." He connected his phone to the car and shuffled his playlist.

They arrived at the marketplace three songs later.  
"I swear that car is a transformer," Haechan said when he jumped out of the huge vehicle.  
Some of the snow had melted but there was still a thin white layer on top of everything. Chenle could see his breath in front of him and grabbed the straps of his backpack. He liked the atmosphere and really hoped he would get through it without any problems. 

They walked through the set up alley of small shops, and it was like entering the world of a fantasy novel. There were sweets in all colors, candles, pictures, jewelry. Chenle felt like whatever one might want, they could get it here. There were kids with their parents, some with dogs, some without. There were some older couples walking slowly, admiring the beauty of Christmas of yet another year. Chenle hoped that one day, when he was old, his hair grey, he would find himself here as well. Alone, or with a pet, or with Jisung. It seemed very unlikely to him but maybe, just maybe, he would end up here with a wife and children. Even then, he would like to take Jisung with him. Or maybe Jisung was the one who would have a wife and children.

He stopped at a shop with differently colored balls of wool on the counter. There was red, dark blue, light blue, purple, pink. Some had multiple colors; rainbow, different shades of blue, red, green. A girl entered the little room.  
"How can I help you?" The girl asked and smiled at Chenle. He immediately noticed her unique hair color. It was a weird but pretty mix of blue and grey. He couldn’t tell which one it was.  
"Do you have merino wool?" he asked and the girl nodded, making the little bell of her Christmas hat ring.  
"Of course! These," she went to the left end of the counter, "are all from merino sheep, but they're not our own. I mean we dyed them but we bought the wool from another farm. We don't have merino sheep."  
"And those are from your own sheep?" he asked curiously.  
"Yes! Here's a picture, look." She pointed at a photo behind her, the big smile glued to her face. There were white sheep - twenty, or maybe more - on a meadow, eating peacefully.  
"Do they have names?" he asked and the girl nodded in excitement.  
"They do! Wait a second." She pulled out her phone and showed him a picture in her gallery.  
"So, this is Lay." She zoomed in on one of the sheep and smiled, then swiped a bit to the right. "This is YangYang. He’s a bit of a weirdo, you would recognize him instantly if you saw them."  
"Dahyun, stop flirting with customers!" The two looked up when a woman entered the small shop.  
"I'm not flirting! He asked about the sheeps' names, so I told him!" the girl, Dahyun, defended herself with a whiney voice.  
"Can you do that when we're not trying to sell something, please?"  
"Yes, sorry. So, you wanted merino wool, right? Which one?" She looked at Chenle and rolled her eyes with a sheepish grin.  
"I'll take this one," Chenle said and pointed at a lavender colored ball of merino wool. She took the wool and put it in a small bag. Then she took one of their business cards and wrote something down. Chenle paid and took the bag with the wool and card in it.  
"Have fun with it!" Dahyun said and Chenle thanked her politely, then left to check out the other stores. 

He hadn't noticed he was smiling until someone ran into him and his smile dropped.  
"Sorry," the guy muttered and disappeared into the crowd.  
Chenle kept walking and fell into a blurred state of sonder. He hadn’t seen the guy’s face, so it was difficult to estimate his age. The long-ish pink hair peeking out under the back of his beanie and his height suggested that he was older than Chenle, but probably still went to school. He wondered why he was running, if he was alone or with friends, if he was running to someone or from someone.  
His head turned around before he even thought about looking back. The boy, as expected, was already out of sight.  
Chenle kept walking, lost in his thoughts about this random boy. Maybe he was a hairdresser, or wanted to become one. Or maybe he dyed his hair out of impulse. Maybe dyeing his hair was his way of staying in control over at least a little aspect of his life. He had heard all kinds of stories about why people dyed their hair. Maybe all those thoughts were wrong and he dyed them just because he liked the color, just like Chenle did.

There were many conversations going on around him, but he could clearly hear someone close to him ask people for a pink haired guy. Once again Chenle wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Should he approach the stranger and tell him he had seen the pink haired guy? If the pink haired guy had been looking for the stranger who was now asking for him, that would be helpful. But if he was running from him, Chenle could be the cause of great misery.  
He looked around and spotted said guy. He seemed desperate. Maybe angry, maybe sad, Chenle couldn’t tell.  
"Hey, have you seen a guy with pink hair? 5"7 tall, no, more like 5"9. Lip piercing." Chenle just stood there trying to analyze the guy’s intentions. He shook his head.  
"No, sorry." The man sighed frustratedly and walked away. 

Chenle took out his phone and saw a missed call and a message from Taeyong, sent just two minutes ago.  
"We found this great Chinese food shop!" the message said, along with a picture of them in front of a food truck. Chenle kept walking while texting Jisung: "Have you ever wondered what the life of the people around you looks like? In the past, present, future? I mean, you could walk past someone who might become a huge star or an evil criminal in their later life and you will never know."  
He sent the message and looked up, trying to find that Chinese food truck. 

"Chenle, hi! You need to try these xian bing, they’re great," Taeyong said with his mouth still half full.  
Doyoung was sipping his mulled wine, Haechan had a cup of hot chocolate. Chenle wasn’t close enough to smell their beverages, he just knew.  
"Did you get anything nice?" Taeyong asked and Chenle nodded. He looked at the different pastries they were serving, then looked at Doyoung with pleading eyes. His dad approached the counter and ordered the xian bing Taeyong had recommended. Chenle paid and took the pancake.  
He ate and took out his phone to see if Jisung had responded but saw a message from Renjun instead. It was a picture of himself and two of his cousins. Chenle remembered their names were Shuhua and Yuqi, though he didn’t remember what name belonged to which of the girls.

"They’re so precious," he wrote beneath the picture and Chenle sent a heart back when a message from Jisung came in.  
"Yes, all the time! I think I do it on purpose at this point. There is this one guy in choire and mom says he has one of the most beautiful voices she’s ever heared and I mean he’s really pretty but when you first see him he doesn’t really look like someone who goes to church let alone choir?? He looks kinda like a emo boy but less edgy more pretty??? And I don’t know anything about him nor does mom. He’s just kind of there and than he isn’t. Sometimes he goes to church service sometimes he doesn’t. I think about him a lot when I join choire practice."  
Chenle left him on read and continued eating his xian bing. They spent the rest of their time there together. Taeyong looked like an excited little kid, swinging Doyoung’s hand, pointing at every third stand. Chenle looked around and spotted a familiar face between two of the food trucks. Before he could start overthinking, he went to the girl standing there and took a deep breath.

"Hello," he said awkwardly, and waved his hand. The girl looked up and pulled the beanie up so her ears weren't covered anymore.  
Chenle took his phone and wrote a text in his notes.  
"My best friend and I watch your videos. He's deaf, too. You're really cool. Could we take a picture/video together?"  
The girl read the note and smiled at him.  
"That's so sweet, thank you! Sure, we can do that." She wrote on her own phone.  
"You're welcome! Please keep doing them for a long time. I'm currently learning KSL." She smiled even wider.  
"That's awesome!" Chenle opened his phone's camera and they took a video together. He didn't know what she had signed, but he was convinced it was something nice. He signed thank you and sent the video to Jisung.  
"I need to go find my parents now. Bye!" He wrote and the girl waved before he left. 

"Where have you been?" Doyoung asked and Chenle showed him the video with a wide smile.  
"She's a YouTuber Jisung likes to watch," he explained and put his phone back inside his pocket. While he was gone, Doyoung had bought Taeyong a necklace with silver angel wings and a halo and Taeyong’s dad bought his wife a pair of golden earrings. They entered the cars in the same setups they did before and Chenle took control over the music.  
A text from Jisung appeared on his screen: "Hold on??? This can't be real! Thank you so much!!!!!" Chenle smiled and sent a You're Welcome in response. He scrolled up to his friend's last message and read it again.  
"I didn't do it on purpose. It just happened. Really interesting." Chenle put his phone down and listened to IU's sweet voice coming from the speakers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They spend the rest of the day at home and Haechan is being a salty little brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!
> 
> Also, if things in this work seem totally random, that's because they are. I don't have a goal for this or anything, but it's not really a vent fic, either. It's just... me loving (and hurting, I'm so sorry-) Lele.
> 
> Also, I have 17k word written for this already, but I need fillers. Anyway! Next chapter we will finally get wholesome face-to-face ChenSung interactions I've written ages ago!!

"It's so slippery," Haechan whined when he got out of the car and almost fell as soon as his feet hit the floor.  
"Well, you know where shovel and salt are," Doyoung said and unlocked the front door. Chenle shuddered when the warm air hit his cold skin. He took off his winter clothes and sat down in his armchair, knees pulled up to his chest. It felt like his heart just now thawing and starting to beat again.

"So, what did you get?" Taeyong asked as he and his parents joined Chenle in the living room. He took the soft wool out of his bag and Taeyong's mom smiled knowingly.  
"Oh, that's a pretty color!" Taeyong said and Chenle nodded. He put the wool bag inside his bag and took out the little business card.   
Beneath the name of their shop it said "Kim Dahyun", and a phone number that most likely belonged to the girl.   
He saved her number with a sheep emoji and opened the chat, not quite sure how to start the conversation. He had a whole page of conservation starters saved in his brain, but there was no specific starter for "the excited sheep girl you bought wool from". 

He sent Jisung a picture of the wool and told him about the girl.  
"That's so sweet!" Jisung wrote back and Chenle kept switching between the two chats, never actually texting Dahyun.

"Just send her a selfie so she knows how you are? And maybe say something nice about the wool?"   
Chenle started scrolling through his camera roll, trying to find a selfie between the pretty scenery pictures he had taken and the memes he got from Renjun and Haechan.

"I don't have a good picture" Chenle responded, actively ignoring the fact that he could, technically, just take a new one. He just didn't feel like seeing his reflection right now.

"Than just send a pic of the wool?" Jisung suggested. Chenle took the wool out of his bag again and took a picture, then another one, and then one with the flash turned one. He put the wool back and sent the last picture to Dahyun.

"Hi, I'm Chenle, you sold me the wool today!" he wrote, and sent the message.  
"Okay, done. Let's see if she even remembers me."

Chenle put his phone in his back pocket and went into his room. He sat down at his desk and stared at the pencils in front of him.   
His brain had saved many pretty shots of the market that he'd love to draw. He could try drawing the pink haired guy, too. Or Dahyun. Or write a little something about that guy; about what could have been if he had told the guy the truth, what could have happened after the guy left. 

His brain was flooded and empty at the same time. There were so many ideas, words, colors, but as soon as he tried to write something down, all the words melted into a big black puddle.   
After a comforting moment of just doing nothing, he started drawing little flowers on a piece of paper. 

"Hello Renjun-ge," he wrote in Chinese, "we went to a christmas market today. I hope you and your cousins had a fun time. I wish I could spend New Year's Eve with you, or Jisung, but you're too far away and Jisung is not allowed. I wish his parents would give just me a chance. They have to. I get what they're scared of but there's no point in it. Even if I was gay, I would not and could not just turn him gay. It doesn't work like that."   
Chenle drew some more flowers and stars and wrote down the title of the song that had been stuck in his head ever since they left the car; Give More Care Less by Bibi.   
He sighed and put the pen down. "It's not contagious," he growled to himself, "not an illness."   
Chenle sat down on his bed and started his laptop. A bunch of video suggestions came up as soon as he opened his browser. There were people building miniature houses, drawing, binding books, and then there was Chaeyoung with her wholesome mute vlogs. He clicked on her latest video and watched her play games with her roommate, Tzuyu. They were a cute duo. Tzuyu was quite a bit taller than Chaeyoung, but now that he had seen the short girl in real life, he figured that Tzuyu was just pretty tall for a girl.   
They played Uno and Tzuyu won every single round. Chaeyoung complained in signs Chenle wasn't familiar with, but he didn't bother turning on the subtitles.   
They took a break and turned their affection to Gucci and Ari, the puppies they had adopted not long ago. Chenle had always wanted a puppy but Doyoung kept arguing that their flat was already too small for four human beings to live in. He had hopes that maybe with the help of Taeyong's charm, they could convince him that a tiny little puppy wouldn't make much of a difference regarding space, but would make both of them very happy. 

Chenle grabbed his phone and texted Jisung that the next time they met, they'd have to play Uno together. He hadn't played Uno in years and was pretty sure Haechan had either lost or destroyed most of the cards.   
Chenle's thoughts wandered back and forth between the videos he was watching and the boy he had seen on the market. He didn't create wild theories on the boy; he was just sitting in his thoughts, like a person dressed in black, sitting in a dark room, on a dark grey couch. Just sitting there, existing, doing nothing.

"Chenle! Food!" The boy groaned when he heard his little brother yell through the door. He looked at his watch and wondered where the last two hours had gone. The paper in front of him was mostly filled with little doodles but he didn't think that had taken him two hours. He had seen a few videos, at some point YouTube had switched to suggesting and auto-playing miniature building videos, but he didn't remember what he had seen. It was like someone had forwarded the time around him.  
"Chenle, move your lazy ass. Come on!" Haechan appeared next to him and put a letter on his desk, with way more force than needed.  
"I'm coming! Get out of my room." He glared at the younger until the door closed behind him. He turned around the letter and his heart warmed when he saw Jisung's name on it. He placed the envelope in the middle of his desk and left the room.

"There you are!" Taeyong smiled when Chenle entered the room. Haechan didn't look at him, and Chenle didn't waste a thought wondering why he was pissed now. The boy's moods worked in mysterious ways.   
He sat down on his seat and pulled his stretched-out sleeves up to his elbows. They took each other's hands and Taeyong's mom spoke a prayer he didn't quite understand. He wasn't sure if it was an auditory or a lingual problem, but there wasn't a single useful sentence that reached his brain.  
"Amen." Taeyong's dad started eating and Chenle took a sip of his water. He would need a few minutes to wake up from whatever had made him this sleepy.

"Did you take a nap?" Doyoung asked, "You know it will ruin your sleep schedule." Chenle shrugged and started eating his spring rolls.

"Should we watch a movie later?" Taeyong asked hopefully, but Haechan declined.  
"I'm watching a movie with Mark at seven," he explained and Taeyong pouted.  
"Okay. But you're in Chenle, yeah?"  
"I guess so. Depends on what we're watching."  
"Make a wish."  
"Mulan."  
"Oh, I haven't seen this movie in years," Taeyong's mom said and looked at her husband, her smile filled with nostalgic joy.  
"When was the last time? Seven years ago? Eight?"  
"Okay, so we're watching Mulan!" Taeyong smiled and stuffed his mouth with spring rolls. Doyoung stared at him as if Taeyong wasa little kitten opening its eyes for the first time.  
"Dad, you're staring." Chenle poked him with the clean end of his chopstick and Doyoung glared at him. Taeyong chuckled and blew his boyfriend a kiss.  
"Thank you, Chenle," Doyoung said and dipped a spring roll into his peanut sauce. Chenle was starting to feel more awake again, more alive, the taste and sensation of the food were enough to activate his brain again.  
"Are these bought or selfmade?” Chenle asked while inspecting the little rolls that could perfectly pass as both by taste as well as visual.  
“They’re bought,” Taeyong admitted with a shy smile, “I’ll make them myself next time. But do you like them?”  
Chenle nodded and dipped his spring roll into soy sauce.  
“Yours were better," he added and Taeyong smiled proudly.  
"Thank you."

Chenle and Haechan were instructed to empty and refill the dishwasher while Doyoung, Taeyong and his parents went out for a walk.  
"Call me when you're done," Haechan said and left the kitchen so Chenle could put the dishes where they belonged. He opened the dishwasher and started stacking the plates while enjoying the silence that surrounded him. The repetitive task of getting dishes out and putting them away soon had Chenle get lost in a fog of thoughts. He wasn't thinking of anything specific, he wasn't worrying, wasn't imagining. His head was filled with light grey cotton candy clouds. 

He only got back to reality when he saw a red stain on one of the knives he was about to put into the drawer. A faint taste of iron started crawling up his throat when he saw the blood dripping from the side of his right hand.   
Chenle put the knives on the counter and held his hand over the sink. The cut wasn't long but by the amount of blood flowing out of the wound, he assumed it was quite deep. He started the water and hissed as it flooded the cut. The water in the sink turned light red and the stinging sensation made Chenle feel a little dizzy.   
He grabbed a clean kitchen towel and tied it around his hand. The knives were still sitting on the counter and Chenle wondered when he had cut himself and why he hadn't noticed earlier. He went to the bathroom just to find the door locked.

"I'm taking a shit, go away!" Haechan yelled through the door.  
"Yeah and I'm bleeding to death," Chenle shot back and turned around to get his own box of bandaids from his room. He untied the towel and was glad to see the bleeding had slowed down, even though the blue towel now had a big, dark purple stain. He dabbed the fresh blood off and bandaged it with a gauze cloth. Good thing he was prepared for situations like these.

"What the fuck did you do now?" Haechan asked, leaning against Chenle's door frame.  
"What does it look like?" he asked and put his first aid kit back into his wardrobe.  
"It looks like you're an idiot."  
"Says the one who broke his nose because he didn't look where he was going." Haechan scoffed.  
"I was seven and you were standing in my way. You are sixteen and all you have to do is empty the dishwasher."  
"Could you stop pissing at me? You've been acting like this ever since we came back here."  
"Just finish the dishes without dying," Haechan said and turned around to go back to his room, slamming the door behind him.   
Chenle flinched and glared at the closed door. He took the towel into the kitchen, filled a bowel with cold water and drowned the towel in it. Taeyong had bought it just a month ago and Chenle didn't want to be the one who ruined it. 

He continued emptying the dishwasher and slapped himself with his left hand whenever he noticed his brain go foggy again. He wasn’t sure what was going on, why he felt like falling asleep without being tired, but somehow he managed to finish the dishes without getting hurt again.  
“Haechan, I’m done,” he said after knocking at his brother’s door and went back to his own room.

The front door shut, followed by voices that were way too loud for Chenle’s liking. He put down his KSL book and left the room.  
“How was it?” he asked when he saw the adults’ white snowy heads.  
“Wonderful! It’s so pretty outside, really. Oh, you need to send me the pictures!” Taeyong said and slapped Doyoung’s arm excitedly.

“What happened to your hand?” Taeyong’s dad asked and Taeyong quickly turned around to look at the kid's hand.  
"Dunno. Cut myself on a knife, one of the bigger ones."  
"You need to be careful, baby!" Taeyong said and the worry in his voice gave Chenle a weird feeling in his stomach.  
"Did you treat it properly?" Chenle nodded and smiled when Taeyong kissed his hand.  
"Thanks, hyung."  
"Do you want ice cream?"  
"Hyung, it's winter."  
"So what, you can't eat ice cream in winter? I'll take some. Who else?" Chenle chuckled, Doyoung and his parents declined.   
"Okay, I'll take some, too." He followed Taeyong into the kitchen and almost ran into him when he suddenly stopped.  
"Why's the dishwasher still empty?" he asked with a whine and Chenle sighed.  
"I did my part. Here, proof." He showed his bandaged hand to Taeyong.  
"I know, I know. Can you get the ice cream while I get Haechan?" Chenle nodded and got two bowls from the cupboard. They had vanilla and chocolate ice cream, and he put a scoop of both flavours in each of the bowls.

"I swear he didn't tell me!" Haechan said as he and Taeyong entered the kitchen.  
"Even if he didn't tell you, at some point can't you go check if he's done?" Taeyong asked and Chenle poured rainbow sprinkles on their desserts.  
"Just put the dishes in, okay? It's really not that much." Haechan sighed and started putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Chenle gave one bowl to Taeyong as they left the kitchen.

Chenle spent the next hour listening to the adults talk while texting Dahyun and Jisung. It turned out Dahyun was 17 years old but didn't go to Chenle's school. Her parents' shop was out of town but they had come here with their stand for the market. She said that a friend of hers, Jihyo, went to his school and was class president. Chenle remembered seeing that name on a board but couldn't match a face until Dahyun sent him a picture of her. When he told Jisung about Jihyo, he remembered her right away. He also told him that Dahyun seemed just as nice per text as he did when he talked to her personally and that she used kaomoji excessively - nothing that really surprised him. Chenle hadn't even known her for a day but he could tell that Dahyun was basically the sun incarnate. 

At seven they decided to watch Mulan and Taeyong cuddled up to Doyoung with a blanket pulled over them. Chenle cuddled one of the fluffy pillows on the seat as they watched the movie and sang to the songs. Seeing Taeyong's mom sing along made Chenle happy. He hoped that one day he could do this, too.

Chenle woke up in his day clothes. His blanket had fallen to the floor and everything was just uncomfortable. He changed into his pajamas and pulled the blanket up to his chin. He didn't know what time it was, but he was tired. Keeping his eyes closed was difficult. It was like once he closed his eyes, everything around him got louder.   
There were no lights on in his room but he could hear the watch from ticking the other side of the room. Tic, tac, tic, tac, tic, tac. He groaned and sat up in his bed. 1:27am. Chenle put on his socks and sneaked through the hallway to his parents' bedroom. He opened the door carefully and just stood there, watching his parents sleep. The moon barely gave any light from this angle, so it was hard to see where their bodies began. He stepped closer to the bed, wondering if he should wake them up right away or risk scaring them to death by climbing in while they're asleep. Just watching the two sleep had a soothing effect on him.   
He could feel the aura that surrounded him. An aura of love, trust, and comfort. Taeyong was snuggled close to Doyoung's chest; his dark hair made a slight contrast to Doyoung's skin, even in the low light. Chenle just couldn't figure out what made this any different from a man and a woman loving each other. Neither his dad nor Taeyong were lustful disease-carrying devils.

"What- Chenle? Haechan?" Doyoung turned his head to the side and put his free arm behind his head.  
"Chenle?" he asked again, louder, protective. Chenle wanted to speak. He knew that, the longer he just stood there, saying nothing, the scarier it must be to his dad.  
"Hey, are you okay?" Chenle nodded and Doyoung sighed.  
"Good." He looked down at his boyfriend and carefully lifted his head off his chest.  
"Do you want to join me outside?" Chenle nodded again and they left the bedroom.

"Why are you up?" Doyoung asked, and Chenle shrugged. He had no idea what woke him up. He had just opened his eyes at some point in the night and then he couldn't go back to sleep. 

Doyoung put on a hoodie and Chenle covered himself in his blanket before they stepped on the terrace. Doyoung lit a cigarette and Chenle shivered. The air was freezing cold, but it was clean, pure, and with every breath Chenle felt a bit more at peace.

"What are you thinking about?" Doyoung asked and blew smoke into the night sky.  
"You and Taeyong.  
"What about us?"  
"I like him. He's like a mom, I guess. In some ways." Chenle counted the stars in the sky and tried to find the constellations he had seen in one of his books.  
"If you want to talk about your mother…" Doyoung trailed off and neither him nor Chenle really knew how to end that sentence. They never talked about her. It never came up. Chenle never cared.   
"I'm just glad he's here with us."  
"So am I. Do you have any plans for New Year's Eye?" Chenle shook his head.  
"What should I be doing if I can't visit Jisung?" Doyoung sighed, blew out another cloud of smoke and looked at his son.   
"I'm sorry, okay?"  
"I'm not blaming you. It was just a question. A rhetorical one, actually. An observation."  
"Still. I'm sorry. And we will have a great night here, okay?" Chenle nodded.  
"I'm sure we will. It's not like we didn't do this before."  
They went back inside and Chenle took his dad's hand before he could open the bedroom door.  
"You okay?" Chenle nodded and chewed on his bottom lip.  
"Mh, can I sleep in your bed?" Doyoung smiled warmly and kissed his son's head.  
"Sure, come on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any idea what I could call Dahyun's family's shop, please let me know! Their slogan is "TWICE the fluffiness!" (thanku jamie <3)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chenle and Jisung finally get face-to-face interaction!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm really happy to finally be able to post this.
> 
> I wrote the baking scene, like, a while ago. As in, two months I think, and I had just started writing this in the end of December.
> 
> I baked those cookies myself and they were in fact just delicious, but!! Don't get distracted by a movie. They only need like 15 minutes so watch your cookies!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading ChenJi best friends as much as I enjoyed writing it. <3

When Taeyong woke up he cuddled up to Doyoung, enjoying the warmth he gave off. After a few more minutes of sleepy cuddling he got up and smiled when he spotted Chenle in bed next to his dad. Taeyong had always been sceptical when Chenle claimed the few hours of sleep he got each night were actually enough.

“I’m so sad you’re leaving already,” Taeyong whined and gave his parents a big hug. They had stored their luggage in the trunk, only his mom’s handbag stayed in the front of the car.

“Don’t miss us too much, you got a really sweet family here,” his mom said and smiled at Doyoung. She pulled the scarf out of her handbag and gave it to Taeyong.

“This is for you,” she said and his eyes lit up immediately. The color was definitely the right choice.

“Wow, thank you, mom! Ah, it’s so soft. Thank you so much.” He hugged her again and put the scarf around his neck.  
“I will come visit you soon,” he promised and hugged his dad.  
“Drive carefully.”

All four of them watched the car drive off, Doyoung’s arm around Taeyong’s waist. Chenle felt like they were filming a scene for a romance drama. Haechan was the first who went back inside. Chenle followed right away, while Doyoung and Taeyong stood outside a little longer.

Chenle opened YouTube and started his ballad playlist. He dropped on his bed, cuddled up underneath his blanket and continued reading in his bible. Chenle ditched dinner that day and stayed in his room alone until he fell asleep. 

"Hey, my parents aren't home today. Do you want to come over?" Jisung texted in the late morning and put a smile on Chenle's face.  
"Sure!" he responded and checked the percentage of his battery. 23% should be enough to take him there. Chenle took his hoodie and the little present he had made for his best friend.

"Hyung, I'm going to Jisung's," he told Taeyong while putting on his boots, beanie and coat. “Tell dad I’ll be back in the evening.”

"Okay, be careful!" 

Chenle closed the door behind him and started walking. He sent Jisung a picture of the river when he passed the little bridge close to their house and started humming. Walking to Jisung's place took him 23 minutes and he enjoyed every single one of them. There was another, shorter route he could take, but he would rather walk five minutes longer if that meant he wouldn't have to deal with the loud engines of the cars passing by.

He rang the bell and smiled when his friend opened the door. He got a quick, warm hug and took off his winter clothes.

"Is it very cold?", Jisung asked with his breathy voice, signing with his hands, and Chenle shook his head. Against everyone's expectations, Jisung spoke more than Chenle when they were together. Chenle knew how to speak just fine, and he enjoyed hearing Jisung's soft voice and slow words.  
They went to Jisung's room and sat down on his bed. Chenle pulled the book out of his bag and gave it to Jisung.  
"Your christmas present," he signed, and Jisung smiled.  
"Thank you."

The present wasn't wrapped, just a little something because he enjoyed making it. It was a book, the cover designed by Chenle himself, and inside were some of Jisung's favorite poems and songs of various languages in Chenle's handwriting. Jisung took his little book and a pen.  
"That's awesome thanks! My parents r visiting friends & should b back 7pm-ish so…"  
Chenle read his message and smiled.  
"Wanna make cookies?" he wrote back and Jisung beamed when he read it. He hugged Chenle again as another Thank You for the book and pulled him into the kitchen. He then signed something about another book and ran back into his room. 

Chenle started a ballad playlist on his phone and connected it to the bluetooth box on a kitchen shelf. The volume was on the lowest option and still slightly too loud. Jisung came back with his handwritten cookbook and gave it to his best friend.  
Chenle skipped through the pages and stopped when he saw a title written in bold rainbow letters.

"Are these good?" he asked, looking at Jisung, who gave him a thumbs up. Without taking a second look at the recipe he started getting the ingredients. Chenle got a big bowl, whisk and baking tray from the cupboards. They had baked together a few times before, so he still knew where everything was.

"First, we need to melt butter, 120g," Chenle read out loud, Jisung read his lips and started the digital scale. He put the bowl on it, tared, and cut a stick into it.  
"Wow, on point," Chenle praised as Jisung put the bowl into the microwave, a proud smile on his face. Chenle weighed the sugars, 100g white, 50g brown, and put them in a bigger bowl. Jisung added the butter and whisked it together. Somehow Jisung was really good at whisking. Chenle didn’t know someone good be good or bad at whisking but apparently Jisung was in fact good at it - somehow.  
"Egg," Jisung said and Chenle added the egg to the dough. Jisung whisked and Chenle hummed to the ballad playing in the background.   
He took the bag of flour sitting on the cooking isle and weighed it, 320g.  
"Jwi? Hey, Jwi." Chenle smiled when he got Jisung's attention. The boy looked like a lost puppy who got called by their owner.  
"200g flour, right?" he asked and Jisung nodded. He poured flour into the bowl and weighed the bag again until 120g were left. Jisung added a tablespoon of baking soda and three pinches of salt.  
"Smarties!" Jisung said excitedly and took a bag of the colorful sweets. Chenle looked at the book and read exactly what Jisung had said; "Smarties!!!!", with four exclamation marks. Chenle chuckled as Jisung started pouring the little beans into the bowl. He mixed them in with his spoon and gave it to Chenle.

"Tastes good," he said after licking the dough. Jisung grinned - with the usual delay of reading lips and interpreting words - and put the bowl in the fridge.   
The recipe said to wait at least two hours.   
Chenle put away the ingredients they had used while Jisung started washing the dishes. Chenle dried them after giving half of it back to Jisung to wash them again, then he put the clean dishes away as well. 

After everything was back to normal, the boys cuddled up on the couch in the living room. It was still cold outside, but the temperature was by now slightly above freezing point.   
Chenle closed his eyes and listened to the rain drops hitting against the window. Jisung's hair smelled like a mix of roses and strawberries. Chenle's arm reached around Jisung perfectly. With his eyes still closed, he imitated the dull feeling of the raindrops with his fingertips on Jisung's tummy. The younger could hear storms, but not the soft, comforting raindrops Chenle loved so much.

He spotted a boy whose long platinum blond hair reflected the sunlight in rainbow colors as if he were a diamond. He had no face, just a bright blur dancing in front of where his face should be. He was dressed in a long, white dress, or a coat, almost transparent and decorated with all sorts of flowers and lace.   
It almost seemed like it wasn't even made of fabric, but of fog, water and light.   
The boy led him to a lake, and now they were surrounded by trees and animals. There was a wolf right next to the white boy, ready to protect him with his life, and there were birds and squirrels jumping from one tree to another.   
Little bunnies were playing around the unbothered wolf and it took Chenle a while to notice that he could hear neither of the things around him. He couldn't hear the birds, or the squirrels, he couldn't hear the little rabbits, and he couldn't hear the water when the white boy stepped into the lake. He looked at him, without a face, but Chenle knew he was smiling.

The first thing he could hear was the voice of Kim Woosung. It took him a while to recognize the song, but as soon as the first tone reached his ear, he got pulled out of his dream.

"Let me sleep," he whined, and Jisung chuckled next to him. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep but his eyes had gotten so used to the darkness, he couldn't tell what Jisung was trying to sign.

"Ji, I can't- What are you-"  
The boy pulled him up from the couch and pointed out of the window. Everything was white, huge snowflakes were falling from the sky and Chenle could barely tell where the snow ended and the sky started.  
“Wanna go outside?” he asked with a knowing grin and Jisung nodded excitedly. They put on their clothes and were greeted by a breeze of cold air and snowflakes. They walked down the road together, catching snow with their tongues and stopping to take pictures every now and then. 

After a while they reached a little park with only a young couple and their dog to be seen. Jisung started collecting snow from the benches and formed little balls. Chenle picked on quickly and hid behind a thick tree. Jisung looked up from where he was making snowballs and turned around in confusion. Chenle knelt down to form a ball and peeked out from behind the tree and a ball went past his head by just a few inches. He quickly threw his own ball at Jisung and hit the back of his head. Jisung turned around and stared at Chenle in shock.

"You can't do that!" he signed, and Chenle chuckled. It took Jisung five more attempts just to hit Chenle's chest. He noticed the couple watching them from the other side of the park and built a new bunch of snowballs to throw at Jisung. The boy grinned at Chenle and threw a ball that went way too far over his head. Chenle chuckled and they threw their next balls simultaneously, but while Chenle's ball just hit Jisung's arm, Jisung's ball successfully hit the branches above him, making a bunch of snow fall down on him.

"That's so evil," Chenle cried out and tried to prevent the snow from falling further into the back of his jacket. He took his balls and threw them at Jisung, every single ball being a great hit while Jisung tried to find a place to hide. At some point Chenle started chasing Jisung, just to find out that his friend was much faster than him, but Chenle's advanced snowball fight skills made up for that. 

"Let's take a break, I'm exhausted," Jisung signed and sat down on one of the benches. Chenle sat down next to him and sighed happily. He was glad they got to do this. It just wasn't the same when he did this with Haechan.   
"Had fun. Love you, hyung," Jisung said and leaned his head on his friend's shoulder.

"Don't let your parents hear that," the older joked, but Jisung didn't hear him. He hated being in this situation, where everything else was just great when he was with Jisung. One moment had ruined it all. At first, Jisung's parents didn't allow Jisung to visit Chenle at home anymore. Then they didn't allow Chenle to sleep at their place anymore. Until at some point, Chenle wasn't allowed to visit his best friend at all - just because his mom had seen her son's best friend's gay parents kiss in a supermarket.   
Chenle had asked them about it almost two weeks after he got banned from visiting Jisung. Taeyong explained that Doyoung had finally agreed to getting the big picture of a baby tiger he wanted, that was now hanging in their bedroom. He was happy and he loved Doyoung, so he gave him a kiss. Then Doyoung gave him a kiss, and they continued shopping.

"Let's go home," Jisung said after a while. Once they stood up Chenle noticed how the snow had melted on his jeans and in the back of his jacket. He shivered and took Jisung's hand. They walked in silence, holding hands until they reached the street Jisung lived in. His parents weren't in the area but they were both too scared to risk being seen by anyone who could talk to his parents about them. Jisung unlocked the door and they took off their cold, wet clothes.   
Almost three hours had passed since they had put the dough into the fridge, so they decided to start forming little balls of dough. Chenle placed them on the baking tray but Jisung interrupted him, putting more space between each of the balls. They made four cookies each and put the tray in the oven at 180 degrees before going back to the couch to snack on the leftover dough.

"Movie?" Jisung asked, and Chenle nodded while licking the dough off his finger. They started skipping through Netflix until Jisung stopped on a movie called Babadook.

"Rated R, are you sure?" Chenle asked carefully but Jisung just shrugged. Chenle knew Jisung didn’t get scared as easily as he did, but he also knew jump scares weren’t the only factor that made a horror movie horrifying.  
"We can turn it off if it gets too scary" he texted, "And I'll protect u!"  
Chenle sighed but agreed to watch the movie. How scary could a drawn character from a kids' book be?

Pretty scary, as it turned out. Jisung offered to turn it off but Chenle didn’t want to give in right away and turned the volume to zero to see if Jisung had an advantage. It was easier this way, he didn't get scared by the loud, sudden noise anymore, but turned the movie off halfway through anyway. Jisung gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek and Chenle gasped. He hid his red cheeks in his hood and whined some about something Jisung didn’t understand anyway.

"Sorry," the younger laughed and Chenle bit his finger as he tried to poke his friend's cheek.  
"Ouch!"  
Chenle grinned and Jisung started blowing air in his purple hair, played with his earring like a cat, and sighed dramatically.

"Do you wanna do something else?" Chenle asked and Jisung shrugged.  
"Dance?"  
Chenle bit his lip, not really in the mood to move anymore after their walk. "Not today, okay?"  
Jisung nodded. He liked watching Chenle dance, and sometimes made the older teach him some moves. He was aware that he must be completely off-beat, but they had fun, so neither of them cared.

Jisung jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen. Chenle followed him before he could figure out why he was running. Then it clicked. Jisung opened the oven and let out a relieved sigh. He took the pot holders and put the baking sheet on the counter. The cookies still looked good, now they just had to hope they'd still taste good.

“So what do we do now?” Chenle wrote on his notes app and Jisung shrugged. Then he signed something Chenle interpreted as “I could paint your nails” and nodded excitedly.  
Jisung’s nail polish collection wasn’t big, but all the colors were really pretty and wisely chosen. Chenle picked a vibrant blue, Jisung a soft lilac. He held the little bottle up against his friend’s hair and smiled. Chenle could tell Jisung did this a lot. He had often admired his friend’s pretty nails but had never seen him paint them.

“I’ve never painted someone else’s nails before,” he wrote with an insecure emoji. “Byulyi won’t let me.” Chenle would’ve been quite surprised if they let him do that. Moonbyul rarely even tied up their hair, only for sports, and threw a weekly fuss over how sexist their school uniforms were by not letting them wear pants.

“That’s a shame,” Chenle said quietly and stared at his own fingers while Jisung painted. He was really careful, treating each finger like a flower made of glass or ice that would break if he touched it in the wrong place. Instead of painting every second finger purple in one go and then painting the remaining fingers in blue, Jisung did each finger at the time, treating it like an individual artwork. 

Blue, purple, blue, purple, blue.

Purple, blue, purple, blue, purple.

“Done,” he said proudly after screwing the bottle shut and smiled at Chenle.  
“Pretty. Thank you,” he signed and looked at his colorful nails in awe.  
“You’re welcome.”  
“Wanna try the cookies now?” Chenle asked, still staring at his nails as if that would make them dry faster.  
“Say again?”  
“Cookies?”  
Jisung nodded and skipped into the kitchen. The cookies had cooled down enough so they could be touched without breaking apart but were still soft. Jisung moaned as he took the first bite.  
“Delicious!” he signed multiple times and Chenle couldn’t agree less - they were extremely delicious.

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a minute to tell me what you think or what you're looking forward to! <3


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